Welcome to the first Insecure Writer’s Support Group day in 2016, which takes place on the first Wednesday of every month. The purpose is to share and encourage, express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak, as well as offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds! Make sure to check out other writers’ posts here.
Happy New Year, everyone!
Shoulda, woulda, coulda…
Although I am excited about starting another new year, I recently realized that this is the year I’ll be turning 35. I’m not one of those people especially fixated on age. I never went through any age-related crises. But 35 somehow seems bigger than the rest had until this point. I definitely don’t think I’m old, but you know I thought I’d have more accomplished and be more together by now. Surprise!
These thoughts of turning 35 had me thinking of all I should have accomplished, if only I would have…
But what’s the point? I’m turning 35. There’s no stopping it.
Draft 2 is coming along, slowly moving forward. Do I wish I’d already written and published several books? Yes, I do. It’s taking me this long, so I’ll just take however long it has to.
I’m taking this as a lesson in patience. No matter what, life moves at its own pace, and there’s nothing any one of us can do about it.
I guess this month’s insecurity is kind of a biggie. I don’t know about you, but I don’t fear death — I fear that I’ll die and leave nothing of any significance behind.
How are you doing this month?
By the way, welcome to my new home on the web. How do you like it? I’d love to hear your thoughts on design, navigability, etc. I’ve worked hard to make this site accessible and easy to use, but I’m still learning, so let me know if you run into any problems.
To celebrate my 35th year on this planet, I’m going to randomly pick 35 people on my mailing list to send them… well, I’ll reveal that later, but you can sign up now.
I understand your angst around reaching this milestone in our life. I had similar thoughts when I turned 40. There comes a day when our time here on Earth starts to feel short. From what I can tell, you’ve already contributed something to the world through your art and are well on your way to leaving behind more.
Your site looks great. I like how clean the pages feel and the header photo is eye catching.
I feel pretty good. Probably because I’m starting something new and that always gets the juices flowing.
Anna from elements of emaginette
You nailed my biggest fear.
I don’t want to get to the end of my life and realize I didn’t do half the things I wanted. The time in which you accomplish them doesn’t matter as long as you do it. Whenever I’m afraid or hesitant, I try to live by this quote:
“Death whispers in my ear and says live, for I am coming.”
Happy New Year!
C.G.
Ageing is weird. I hate how the numbers make me feel sometime, but it’s literally just attached to when you were born and your experience. Think of all the people in the world who watch hours of mind-numbing TV and never do much beyond housework or job. Those things are necessary, and TV is awesome–I watch a bit of it, no lies–but to create something and sacrifice passive, wasted time to learn a craft and try a new thing has a value you can’t put a number on.
I do think about it, but not just cause of age. My mom, dad, sister, grandparents, all aunts and uncles have died by the time I was 48. I’m now 53. Not married, no kids. I’m sort of alone, except for friends. I think about who will miss me like I miss them. I don’t want to die without leaving something worthwhile behind too, so there is that. I did not have an age crisis, until my physical self changed where I could not do things I did without thought in past. The limits of that change causes fear. I’m still having that age crisis, lol. Don’t get me wrong, for all of that, life is good. I am doing okay. I am blessed in a lot of ways, and things will get better, because that is how life works, Just saying yes I think about death for many reasons, but I don’t think I am afraid to die—just don’t want to die yet. I still have living to do and good things coming my way, including improved physical self, God willing.
Juneta @ Writer’s Gambit
I had this when I realized I’m soon to be 40! But we can still accomplish what we want!
Hello and Happy New Year!
I too understand exactly what you mean. Sometimes life just seem to fly by too quickly.
All the best for 2016 and I wish you success in all that you undertake to do.
Shalom,
Patricia
Amen to your biggest fear! I try to tell myself I’d be leaving my children behind to make up for anything I didn’t do, but that just isn’t enough is it? We all want to leave something of significance behind with our name on it.
As for turning 35, at least now you’ve got experience to back up anything you do write. 🙂 I wanted to write and publish a book when I was 13 but it didn’t happen until I was 38. Learning patience and the ability to forgive yourself for living a life is a must! Good luck!
I think as I get older the fear of dying and not leaving anything worthwhile or substantive behind grows. But, I think my greater fear is I won’t have experienced everything. There are things I won’t have done or tried.
Thanks for sharing – a very thought provoking post 🙂
I’m 35 this year too and I can’t shake the fact that I will officially be in my mid thirties now!
I’m afraid that I’ll die without finishing my book! Not that I think it’ll be particularly significant – I just really want to get it done 🙂
I like the new website. It’s simple but different – and I love the font for titles.
So great to read your update and happy 35th! I loved reading the synopsis of your novel in your newsletter. Fascinating! So complex and intricate, so many layers, just like all of us.
Isn’t 35 the new 25? That’s what I keep hearing and I love that idea, so I think we should continue to promote it. Enjoy your 35th or 25th year whatever you do with it.
p.s. I love broccoli!
I understand how you feel. I turn 60 this year, and I haven’t done a tenth of the things I wanted to do when I was 35. On the other hand, my father died three weeks shy of his 35th birthday, so I guess it could be worse…
35 years old. That is cool. What a wonderful age to be. Every day you’re on earth is significant…maybe not to you, but to those around you. You are leaving your legacy by the way you interact with others because you are making memories for them and for you. Think how many more stories and experiences you’ll have to write about when you reach 65. Think how your perspective on life will change from now to the future. You have so much to look forward to and much to live through. It’s a roller coaster. Enjoy every minute as you build your legacy.
I like your new digs! It took me years and many starts (and stops) to finish a full novel (draft, not published). But I was so delighted to finish one, I felt relieved enough die. 🙂 Keep writing! You are so right — it will take what it takes.
Ah, this year I’ll turn 45 and it may be the first time I’ve started to feel a bit queasy about age. I’m fortunate in that most of my friends are a bit older so I see them go through the milestones first. I too worry that I’ll leave nothing behind and that’s what keeps me writing, and although I wish I’d started earlier I also realise that my work has a maturity now that would have been missing earlier.
All we can do is go forward.
All the best for 2016 🙂
I hadn’t even started when I was 35! Congratulations to you for the progress you’ve made to date. I found the years between 35 and 40 to be really exciting…I had a fuller well of life to draw from. At 57, I am still excited about life, still being surprised, and writing more than ever. You have much to look forward to!
Hey, I’m turning 35 this year too! In about a week and a half….
I’m in a similar boat – keep feeling like I should be further along in my life journey… but I remind myself that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. For whatever reasons my life has taken the paths it has and it has made me who I am today. Sure, my writing isn’t where I wanted it to be, but it will get there and be richer from the journey…
Happy Birthday!!
I have reached an age where I look back at the past with nostalgia instead of always looking to the future for things to come. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. I’ve accomplished some “big” things like degrees and forming a family, so I don’t feel panic about what I haven’t done. But it would be so nice to achieve success at some level with my writing. We’ll have to see what happens next . . .
Don’t let age scare you. Fortunately, writing is not a race.
And I updated your listing at the IWSG with your new blog. Email me if you want the title of the blog changed. Thanks!
I turn 33 this year that’ll be considered as still young. But life is short and I don’t want to think negatively and or rush things because of it. But what if I’m unable to accomplish all that I want to do by the time I turn 35? Still, even with the fear of aging and unfinished/unrealized goals, all we can do is keep writing, editing and polishing our stories, publishing and querying agents, etc. It’s the writer’s life for us! ;-D
It’s always good to think about where we are in our lifespan and what we want to accomplish in our lives, what we want to leave behind as our legacy. Until I had grandkids, I thought my legacy was my books. Now I see the grandkids and I know they are my legacy. Wonderful children and another terrific generations. As far as age goes, remember Anna Mary Robertson (Grandma) Moses didn’t start painting until she was 78. Best wishes for a great new year.
Hi Ula!
Age is only a number.
Your spirit and outlook on life is what matters. I know 21 year olds who are old at heart, and 70 year olds who are young at heart. They say that 40 is the new 30…so you cut off ten years and that’s your age…
Writing is a process. Write at your own comfortable pace. You will get wherever you’re going to.
Happy New Year! 🙂