Today is Insecure Writer’s Support Group day, which takes place on the first Wednesday of every month. I skipped last month’s post. I hope you forgive me. I can’t remember what my reason was, but I’m sure it was good. Or maybe not… Make sure to check out other writers’ posts here.
The IWSG admins decided to add a question to inspire the posts, which is such a great idea. I can only write so many posts on feeling insecure about my writing, which is pretty much a permanent state of being for me. The question this month is: What was your very first piece of writing as an aspiring writer? Where is it now? Collecting dust or has it been published?
I began writing in grade school, but I don’t remember what I wrote back then. The first step that felt like a real step in my professional writing career took place in high school. I was admitted to a writing program for young aspiring writers called Young Chicago Authors (YCA), which is pretty big thing now in Chicago, but back then in the 90s it was just a few rooms in a rented apartment where 45 high school kids from all over the city wrote about stuff they felt were important. The lack of judgment and complete acceptance of what we wrote was freeing. We didn’t feel constrained or a need to please. We wrote to please ourselves. It was probably the best three years of my life.
One of my earliest short stories from that time, titled “Be My Valentine,” was about a high school girl who gets raped by her boyfriend. The circumstances aren’t so black and white, but it was definitely rape. More than anything though, it was a story about friendship. That story ended up winning third place at the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater Creative Writing Festival in 1998.
I read it now and I cringe. It is bad, filled with strange metaphors and too much description. If I were to edit it now, it would be 3-4 pages instead of 10. I guess it shows some of the improvement I’ve made in my writing, which is now much more succinct. But it does prove one thing that is still true. Twenty years later, I am still a bad writer, and maybe all writers are bad. Where my writing improves is in the edits. I strongly believe that.
The amount of necessary edits can seem overwhelming at times. Actually, most of the time. But they are necessary for my novel to be readable.
The amazing thing is (and I only realized this as I was writing this post) that rape is central to my novel as well. Although it doesn’t actually happen in the story, it’s in the past. Friendship and the power of love to heal are also important aspects.
That short story got published in a few YCA magazines, which maybe a few people still have laying around somewhere, but it was my first real success as a writer. A success that sometimes makes me think that maybe I’m not as bad a writer as I think.
I’m not the only writer that believes in editing, here’s an article I happened upon today.
I like the IWSG question prompts too. I’m constantly insecure about my writing too, but it can’t be that interesting to read about it each month and the questions make it far more interesting. It’s interesting that rape is a theme of that original story and your current novel. I wonder if we all have a few themes that keep popping up in our writing whether we’re always aware of it or not.
Very cool that you were in a young writers program! I went to a journalism camp in high school and focused on that sort of writing over fiction for awhile. I was in my late 20s before I took a stab at fiction. I think those early years can set a good foundation.
Here’s my August IWSG post on my first novel attempt (note I said ATTEMPT). YA Author Stephanie Scott IWSG August
I try not to look too hard at previous works, unless I’m going to work on them, because I’ve learned so much. Many times it looks like two different people did the work. 🙂
Anna from elements of emaginette
I have too many ideas for stories that I don’t have time to go back. My previous stories were practice. Not saying practice makes perfect, but I get better the more I write. Besides rewriting is so much harder than starting from scratch. Best wishes.
LOL! You’re not a bad writer. Writing is meant to happen in layers. We mold raw materials together, then we shape it. Then we reshape it, then reshape it more. Then we add details. Then we change details that aren’t working. It takes significant focus, effort, and time to get the work just right, but eventually it can happen. That’s the way it’s meant to be.
Congrats on that story winning third place at the Creative Writing Festival.
We have to remember that good stories don’t happen by accident. They are the result of editing and rewriting. Lots of it.
Happy IWSG Day! 🙂
Ula,
That sounds like an awesome program. I agree that all writers start out as bad writers, that part of the creative process has to involve throwing a lot of ideas some good, some bad some just weird into the mix and then editing after. In principle, I know this, but then after the fact…argh. Very encouraging to keep this in mind although it’s painful to hear at first.
Anne
It could not have been “bad” since it won 3rd prize and got published. We’re all so hard on ourselves. And, yes, the editing process is necessary for the good to rise to the top!
Mary at Play off the Page
I loathe rewriting. Loathe, loathe, loathe it. But is it a necessary evil? Hells, yes!
The trick is to avoid over-editing, which I have a tendency to do. I’ll send out a book, get some kind comments back from agents and decide I should rewrite it based on their feedback. I suppose that can result in a stronger book, but it can also drive you crazy, since nothing is ever finished.
Thanks for sharing your publication story. Do you worry about including rape in a story these days? There seems to be such a backlash–it’s definitely changed certain scenes I had planned. Since it’s one of the worst things that can happen to a woman, it’s where some of my dark fiction naturally went.
What a powerful short story. I bet we all look back at our old writing and cringe. But what an achievement – winning competitions can give such a big boost of confidence. Great post, Ula.
It’s wonderful that you were admitted into such a group and wind 3rd place. And your right, it’s the edits that helps make our stories shine. It’s only a matter of not giving up during that stage, so that the birth of our stories are possible.